Bunny Love

With Easter on the horizon I thought I'd share this wonder from G&D's house. There, amongst the succulents, modernist furniture, and half dozen kitties is the perfect mug.

Gotta Love That!

Really? I know they need bag stations around here, but for serious? That has to take effort.

Words of wisdom from Brien and Kim

Brien- If you think it might effect your marital bliss it already is effecting your marital bliss.
Kim- Don't break up with your boyfriend's mother's lesbian lover on Christmas.

in addition to being wise, they also cook some mean sausage pasta shit.

i like being a girl.

So, for those who have recently asked, here's Andrew's link http://www.oudevoida.blogspot.com/

Aren't toenails fantastic? Isn't wearing heels great? I'm so glad I've got nice, soft girly parts. I'm sitting and reading a novel, utterly comfortable alone with my sweet, very sexy self. I might not be interesting, but I sure am happy. Happy Oscar Night, everybody!

crush addition

Oh, I forgot another excellent crush incidence, which relates, vaguely, to the post on weed.

Before I knew Andrew very well I got drunk at a work meeting at Kennedy School where he was sitting beside me, laughing his fantastic, much missed laugh. I had ordered a burger, and Andrew is a vegetarian. I believe I was being fairly obnoxious at this meeting, but it was sorta a going away party for me, so I didn't care. Anyway, unlike me, I had left some 1/3 of my burger in the basket, and ever so casually, Andrew scarfed it up, if memory serves in one enormous bite. There have been few moments in the history of history when scrappy, 5 foot 6, vegetarian types have been more adorable. Maybe only when they are offering me cocktails and talking about baseball...

Crushed

I'm a romantic, and I have no trouble admiting it most of the time (see So, I like Hearts). The other night I made one of those frequent Molly comments, blatantly ripped of from Brandon years ago, that I like my beer "bitter like my heart," (works great for coffee, too. And then you get to say "bitter and black like my heart."). But, of course, I'm not really bitter- most of the time I live in hope, mostly just because that's what comes functionally to me. Those who know me well know I've got dark corners, but for the most part sunshine is the best disinfectant. And you don't have to know me very well to know I crush like crazy.

Now, with that said, I like crushes a lot better than relationships, at least at the moment. I like having a good, long standing appreciation of some fantastic person or another. Forays into taking these crushes from a purely puppy phase into something more mature have met with mixed results. However, especially recently, I have begun to enjoy crushes that extend as mostly that- a gentler infatuation tinged with a yummy amount of desire, details, and teasing.

I have had a crush on a friend in L.A. for umpteen years. He's great looking and dresses well and is successful and has fantastic taste in music and in women, especially his most current friend. He has that all important accessory- glasses! He also has one of the best crush devices- a fantastically challenging library. It's the kind of library I look at sideways because it takes up a whole wall and therefore could take up a whole evening. There are books on economics and feminism as well as books I've never heard of and books in other languages. But here's where it goes from admiration to crush- left alone for most of an evening, after falling asleep 2 nights in a row looking at spines aligned, I finally breached the shelves. Thumbing past Infinite Jest and Dangerous Angels (yeah, he has my favorite book from childhood...) I found a complete page a day calendar of George Carlin quotes. And I tucked my feet under my ass and read on the wood floor voraciously through the month of April before he unexpectedly came home.

I kinda hid that I, left to my own devices, had picked this out of everything. We played dominoes and he let me steal his french fries. We drank whiskey. And then, wonderfully then, he brought out the calendar and began to read to me. He has a lovely voice, and wonderful reading style. And best of all, a molasses laugh that has a base you can feel more than hear across the room. This, to me, is the pinnacle of a perfect romance. These sorts of shared moments, more candid than intimate, that do not leave me wanting more, but only wanting that.

More recently there is a crush here, one that sometimes plays ping pong with me, and has recently begun to open up about things closer to his heart. But, really, the ping pong is enough. The slow, delicious learning about another heavenly body in orbit 10 feet away is plenty. It's still, for me, exciting to get an email, or to look at eyes and posture, to watch in action. And, what is best about crushes, at least for me, is I know who is feeling this pleasure. He seems to be great, but I am experiencing my sensational range of emotions, independent of anything he can do. I would hate to ruin that by forcing him to be too aware of my dark corners, or by getting to know him well enough that I knew he had faults besides not liking me as much as I would like him to. I don't need warts right now, and I certainly don't desire exclusivity or even further intimacies. All I need is the wondrous fantasy of proximity and the occasional trouncing using paddles. I'm as happy as a clam with potential adventure- actual adventures will be appreciated in time, I'm sure. Hopefully ones including the kind of paddles you dip in water.

There was to be more, but heaven's, this has gotten long enough. Must away to make things with stuff!

The Weed Thing

Recently it has reared it's ugly head again.
So, I can't smoke. It's not that I wouldn't, it's not that I care if other people do- I just can't. In the past I haven't even been comfortable around it- the smell makes me nauseous, I've been known to break out in hives after making out with people who use it, buying rope can make my palms get itchy. I was recently given a hemp lip balm for Christmas that cracked my lips open severely. At different times it has effected me differently, sometimes less so than others. But, better safe than sorry, I just avoid it. And apparently that makes me a semi-social pariah, and less attractive.
Now, I do tend not to date vegans. I also have had negative experiences with tee-totalers. And religious nuts tend only to be interesting until you realize that they are just nuts. But these are people making a choice, or engaging in a belief system. I'm not doing either. I feel like I'm in the same boat with people who are allergic to peanuts or soy or milk, but somehow it's different. Luckily, there's no anaphalaxis so far. Instead there's this bizarre rejection.
Like all discord, I really want to understand this better, so I've been talking to people about it. One response implied that I was perceived (presumably because I can't smoke) as judgemental. Which actually is funny, cause I tend to love people who love weed. I don't tend to actually vocally encourage their using it, but then I don't tend to tell people to go out and have a cigarette or take their meds either. In other words, I don't tend to encourage people to get buzzed, but I also don't discourage it. I don't know what else, socially, is acceptable. Miss Manners is a little mum on the subject. But if anyone has suggestions, they should put them in the comment box.
Until then I guess I'll just keep dodging out of the room, and hope people can forgive me.